Blue Steel

One of my husband's favorite past times is teasing me. Which drives me totally and utterly nuts, but I know he does it because he loves me. But his favorite thing to tease me about are the faces that I make in the mirror.

Some time ago, whether before or after my orthognathic journey started, I don't remember, I started sliding my jaw forward to try and simulate what I would look like if my chin wasn't so recessed.

Unfortunately, my husband, R, must have noticed. He started calling me Zoolander whenever he saw me gazing into the mirror, my jaw thrust forward in it's correct positioning. It would seem that the face I make is remarkably similar to Ben Stiller's intelligence-challenged male model.

It didn't occur to me that there was anything wrong with the structure of my face until I was 16 and on a youth group trip to Chicago. Demorée, a girl a year or two older than me and a wonderful artist, started sketching portraits of some of the kids. She starred sketching me, but stopped because I was moving too much, and besides, she needed "a subject with a stronger jaw."

Never once before that did it occur to me that there was anything wrong with the way I looked (outside of the standard female insecurities about complexion, hair and weight). It bothered me, and I vowed that someday I would get a chin implant and cheek implants to balance my features. Assuming of course, that I somehow got a fabulous high paying adult job to fund said plastic surgeries. Still waiting for that job, if you were wondering.

I had no way of knowing, despite years and years of orthodontics, that there was anything wrong with my mouth besides crooked teeth. It wasn't until I went in for a 6 month cleaning at my dentist and asked about my lower gums receeding on L27. I was told by my dentist that it was actualy being crowded out and that if it wasn't fixed (by removing teeth and surgery) that I would lose that tooth and others.

I was aghast. Why hadn't this been mentioned to me during the years and years of braces and retainers? Why hadn't anyone mentioned that there was a structural problem with my jaw?

One week later, I was in my orthodontist's office and it was explained to me. When I was a child, orthognathic surgery was not a common practice and in fact, was avoided as treatment. Dr. S (senior) my old ortho was pretty old school. His son, who inherited the practice when I was in invisibles in college, takes a more modern approach and suggested the surgery, explained that many of the problems that I experienced daily (breathing problems, headache, jaw, shoulder and back pain, was all because of my weak chin. He offered an alternative; to shave down a couple teeth and make room in my mouth for my teeth, or put braces back on and have surgery. As you can imagine, I was horrified at the prospects of any more time in braces or major surgery, but in the end I opted to do just that.

And here we are. 4 years, 4 removed teeth, dozens of orthodontic appointments later, here we are. My husband calls me Zoolander and I'm going to be cut open very soon.

And maybe if I'm lucky, he'll call me something else. As long as it isn't Gaylord Focker.